early and awesome

Joe the Plumber and Kristen Wiig Canoodled?!?!

She totallyhas Republican hair, come to think of it.

Buried in the front of the print edition of the Post today, in a small box headlined “Campaign Morsels,” is a truly morsel-y morsel. (Ha, morsel is so one of those words that becomes progressively more ridiculous the more you repeat it.) Actually, there are two morsels. [Morsel No. 1] “Joe Wurzelbacher, better known as ‘Joe the Plumber’ was seen at the ‘Saturday Night Live’ after party ’canoodling’ with cast member Kristen Wiig and [Morsel No. 2] chatting up a major Hollywood agent about starring in the next season of The Bachelor.”

Holy hell. This cannot be true, we thought. Joe the Plumber made out with Kristen Wiig while simultaneously making a deal with an agent? A full-on Hollywood three-way? On the cusp of the election! But then we saw this report:

Joe the Plummer can hold his liquor, that’s for sure. While we were downing shots of Makers Mark, Joe got buttonholed by Ben Affleck’s agent (Patrick-something from Endeavor, I think?) There was some serious talk about Joe appearing as the star on the next season of The Bachelor…as night wore on to early morning, Joe finally got some “quality” alone time with a certain female cast member. I’m not that familiar with the show, but I know it wasn’t Tina Fey or Amy Poehler. The skinny brunette, I think it was. Kirsten, maybe? Joe’s got good taste: she’s definitely hotter in person. And judging by her taste in plumbers, maybe a closet Republican. I didn’t see what time they left, but it wouldn’t surprise me if someone got her drain snaked last night. Politics sure makes strange bedfellows! (I ran into Joe this morning at the hotel - see picture - and ever the gentleman, he refused to reveal more than his mile-wide grin.)

Ew. Anyway, Bachelor, hell. This dude is going places. In the meantime, we’re looking into this and we’ll let you know if we hear morsel.

UPDATE: Right, so the whole thing, drain-snaking and all, is a TOTAL LIE. Joe the Plumber was not at the after party, Eisenstadt’s site is a hoax, NBC’s publicist tells us that Kristen has a live-in boyfriend who she probably had to have a stupid fight with about this, and we along with the Post and Politico in being total suckers. But it was fun while it lasted!

Joe the Plumber canoodled cast member at SNL after-party? [Martin Eisenstadt’s blog via Politico]

Joe the Plumber and Kristen Wiig Canoodled?!?!