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Our ‘Gossip Girl’ Commenters Make Us Believe in Love

Of the events that stretched plausibility in this week’s Gossip Girl, what seemed to chafe you dedicated viewers the most seemed to be Blair’s inconsistent definition of “hot” (How could she call Aaron Rose that? He has a gross mustache, and is practically her brother!) and, again, the ubiquity of Serena’s breasts. But, Gossip Girl historians that you are, you point out the small details that make us believe in love: Like Blair wearing the necklace that Chuck bought her for her birthday. Awww.

Now: This week’s final recap recap has a special guest! Chris and Jessica had the extreme pleasure of meeting Dorota (Her real name is Zuzanna Szadkowski, but they insisted on calling her Dorota in person so as not to break the fourth wall) at the Ultimate Gossip Girl Summit a couple of weeks ago, and she was kind enough to weigh in on this week’s tally in an e-mail this week. (An e-mail! To us!)

btw … regarding last Monday’s GG, Plus 5 for that awesome way Blair claps her hands to separate Beta Bass and New Blair like they were misbehaved house pets. Comic genius.

Genius, indeed. Now, regarding your comments. We’ve decided to quit adding your points to our tally, because you guys are too all over the place with the number of points you award and subtract and it was messing up our carefully calibrated system, the end goal of which is … something. So we’re just picking our favorite ones now. Gold stars after the jump!

Realer Than Dan’s Awkward Dance Moves
Plus 1 for Serena’s “Can’t she just vote?” in reference to Lexi’s salacious ways. Wow, they actually gave her a decent line for once. —BlairBass1
Plus 4 because Chuck plays the piano. Yet another reason to adore him. —BlairBass1
Plus 2 for Nate, having “done the right thing” with his dad, now being determined to “do the right thing” all over the place. His “moral compass” cred among the high schoolers is currently such that when Nate says you’ve screwed up, you feel that you really must have screwed up. —PurpleandGreen
THE NECKLACE SHE WORE WHEN CHUCK PLUMBED HER DEPTHS!!!!!! PLUS 10!!!!!!!” —val4372 [Thank you!!!]
Plus 20 for this entire exchange:
Jenny: “What’s wrong, Vanessa, are you that desperate?!”
Vanessa: Why what’s wrong Jenny, are you that jealous?!
Jenny: “Oh My God!!!” —poshspice
Plus 5 because Bart’s meeting in Miami coincided with Art Basel, which I’m sure he planned so as to pick up a new Maplethorpe for Lily to make up for his bad behavior. —UWSer
Plus 5 for: Dorota: “do you think I want to be shining Chuck Bass’ shoes” and Blair saying: “you’re lucky if that’s all your shining”…I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT ITS STILL AMAZING.” —noeffinway
• This is a bit of an aside, but MTV keeps stealing all of Josh Schwartz shows. First with the O.C. which they turned into “Laguna Beach the Real Orange County”. Now they are doing it to Gossip Girl with the “City”, in the trailer it they say “its not gossip, its real”. I prefer to believe that Gossip Girl is real, Chuck and Blair are real and the “City” is just a scripted “reality” series.” —eclare21

Faker Than a Married UES-er Jumping Ship on Her Marriage Easier Than Her Daughter Does With Her High School Boyfriend
• Bart told Lily he was done with the PI, but didn’t think to tell his receptionist to lie that he had a meeting with said PI? You don’t build an empire on silly mistakes like that. Minus 2. —martell
• A potential future minus 5, because, in stealing from his numerous OC plotlines, if Kiki (I mean Lily)’s secret is that Eric is really Rufus’s son (which someone commented on during the last episode and I now really believe), Serena and Dan will end up being weirdly related as Ryan and Marissa were when Julie Cooper married Caleb and it’s time to get GG out of an OC parallel universe. —LittleJ
Minus 2 for Serena’s boobs as a major character. Enough. Just, enough already. It’s winter! Buy a friggin sweater. —MagnoliaCake22
• Nate’s little speech to Lil J about not being who he though she was…WTF? She’s 15 and acting like a 15 year old. Nate should be more appalled that Vanessa, the older & more mature one, stooped to the level of a 15 year old by stealing mail - a federal offense BTW. Minus 1. —I_m_Blair_Blair_is_me
• I thought Blair was repulsed by Aaron? She can’t believe that Serena hasn’t slept with him yet because “What are you waiting for? He’s HOT!” In the last episode she was mocking his nasty “scruff”. Minus 5.ChuckLove
• dan says the best memories of his past two years have been at these high society social events. really? which memory was the best, dan? was it when chuck bass tried to rape your sister at the kiss on the lips party? or was it when you got into a fist fight with chuck bass at the brunch at blair’s house? or was it when serena and you broke up at lily and bart’s wedding? or was it when your sister through a rogue fashion show and ruined lily and bart’s gala? or was it when someone dumped vitamin water all over grandpa van der woodsen’s white suit you were wearing over the summer at the vitamin water white party? which happy memory exactly were you reffering to? MINUS 5NineDaves
• No mention of Blair’s future stepdad the entire episode? Inconceivable! Minus 10sarcasticmeow
• “You guys are spot on about this episode being “off” !! But doesn’t that deserve some subtractage? For screwing with our suspension of disbelief, at the very least.
I know it’s GG, but still….
-10 for letting the interns film this episode
-10 for letting them write it” —claireOceana [Hey! Guess who’s writing this post? Wait… does Gossip Girl really have interns?]
• Lily: Tell me something Rufus. Something you shouldn’t.
For Christs sake the man already told you last season that he shouldn’t have let you let him go, what more do you want? I’m so over it. —twinsfindme [Minus 1]

Our ‘Gossip Girl’ Commenters Make Us Believe in Love