the greatest depression

JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon Gets on Santa’s Nice List

Every boy knows that when this time of year rolls around, you have to start being good, because He is making a list, and checking it twice, and is going to find out who’s naughty and who’s nice. This is especially true for Wall Street CEOs this bonus season, only instead of Santa watching, it’s Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, and instead of a lump of coal (which could be traded for more than a Citigroup share), the punishment is being subject to a long, headache-y investigation and being ripped limb from limb by an angry populace. Who so far has been nice, and sacrificed their bonus in the face of the credit crisis, and who has been naughty, and is greedily still clamoring for one despite their contribution to the carnage in the global economy? Let’s check our list, after the jump.

• Faced with criticism over his role of egging on Citi bankers to take on more risk, Citigroup chairman Robert Rubin has not requested a bonus this year.
• Lloyd Blankfein. The Goldman Sachs CEO may be totally Jewish, but he is full of the Christmas spirit. He was the first of the Big Guys to give up his bonus, in November, and just look at those dancing eyes! It’s like he was a reindeer in another life.
• Morgan Stanley CEO John Mack is practically as selfless as Jesus himself. He has given up his bonus for the second year in a row.
• Wachovia CEO Robert Steel gave up his bonus even after the bank’s marriage to Wells Fargo this year. He’s not in it for the money, you see.

• Vikram Pandit. The government gave Citigroup $306 billion in order to save its ass last month, and they’ve laid off 50,000 people worldwide. CEO Vikram Pandit announced they would be “slimming down,” and yet he can’t seem to get that big, juicy bonus off his mind. He recently bought this apartment at 15 Central Park West, you see …
• Ken Lewis. If anyone can be said to be a winner in the credit crisis, it’s Bank of America, which stayed away from the fancy mortgage instruments that messed up everyone else, and gobbled up Merrill Lynch. But BofA has announced there will be massive layoffs when the banks merge in January — and in light of that, is it really cool for the CEO to take home a massive packet of money? Probably not.
• Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain backtracked on his request for a $10 million bonus, but grudgingly: He will remain on Santa’s naughty list because of the “you’d better not pout” contingency.

Banks Try New Ways to Handle Bonuses [NYT]

JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon Gets on Santa’s Nice List