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Gossip Girl Gets All Chucked Up

[Okay, commenters, you win. We tried tallying up these hundreds of reality points that you write up during the week, then our beloved intern Mike tried, and now we’re all exhausted. So now we are giving you the responsibility. That’s right, one of your numbers, the fabulous MARTELL, will be your final reality index monitor this week. Behold her handicraft, below.]

This week many of you took issue with the fact that Lily and Rufus’s love child was adopted in Boston. Last time we checked, Boston was not in France, where the baby was said to be born. You also lamented the absence of Nate (where IS Hottie McMan-Bangs, anyway?), celebrated the demise of Aaron Rose (albeit with a lame explanation), and carried on a fierce debate about what kind of weekend bag Lily uses. For now, let’s agree to disagree and be happy they didn’t try to give her a Vera Bradley duffel. Check out our favorite comments after the jump!

Realer Than Not One Mention of a Shmashmortion on the UES:

Plus 3 for Rufus’s impassioned speech to Lily about fatherhood, a scene or two after he says “Dan, we should do something tonight, sorry I missed you on Christmas and New Years.” — BrooklynObituary (echoed by others)

Plus 3 for Serena having no Latin dancing skills whatsoever. She’s definitely from the UES. — livelywaldorf

• Clearly Uncle Jack would have picked Chuck up in a private plane, bypassing airport security (I’m guessing, my private plane’s in the shop) and allowing for a hash filled ride home. Plus 2.publishingsprite (echoed by others)

• Penelope: “Wait, you were just doing this as a good deed? I’m SO bored.” Plus 10 because exactly. — Aprilfire117

Plus 17, just for Dorota. She’s just magical. — Artsieanna

• Anyone else notice that when Serena was dating Aaron she was always running out on Blair to go see him but when she is dating Dan she is always leaving him to help Blair? — Spotted423

Plus 10 for Aaron Rose leaving, and taking Serena’s cleavage with him. — filthychuck

Faker Than the Constance Girls Ordering Larges at Pinkberry:

Minus 5 for the club ladies’ argyle. They would have been wearing tweedy St. John’s suits [Ed: or Chanel suits, as a few of you pointed out]. — Leah3t (echoed by others)

• When Blair finds Chuch at Victrola, drunk, high and sandwiched between two women and she says that this isn’t him…shouldn’t she know better, that is exactly who Chuck Bass is. Minus 2.kleahh

• Oh yes, and why the hell is the lovechild based in Boston? Lily’s from New York and had the baby in Paris. Tossing random cities into the equation may make for a convenient way for Rufus and Lily to go away together, but they need to provide at least some kind of explanation. — PurpleandGreen

Minus 5 for how stupid Serena looked as the camera panned over her upon entering The Box. Seriously, why would you be scanning the ceiling looking for Chuck? — ccbb127 (echoed by others)

Minus 5 For Jenny’s description of Serena starting with “smart”. She’s not, and Jenny’s not the kind of girl who would throw that word around just to be nice. — LilJ_vs_Pants [Ed: nice handle, dude.]

Minus 10 because, get a grip, and stop trying to invent drama, writers! Dan and Serena are NOT related. They will have the same half sibling and MAYBE one day be step siblings. Did no one see Cruel Intentions? It taught us that, on the UES, bonking your step-sibling is hot in an it-should-be-wrong-but-really-isn’t kind of way. — tunamayoketchup

Minus 3 for the orphanage map that Dan digs out of Rufus’s bag. There aren’t even that many Dunkin Donuts in Boston’s Financial District, let alone orphanages. — timmyinboston

Earlier: Gossip Girl Catches Us When We Fall

Gossip Girl Gets All Chucked Up