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Gossip Girl Holds a Student-Teacher Conference

This week, many comments on our Gossip Girl recap complained of Teach for America inconsistencies, the sudden body-morphing of the headmistress, and Chuck’s character growth into a gallant stepson. We got to see the return of Blair the schemer and Nate the horndog. Dan continued to think he is the center of everyone’s universe, and this new Rachel Carr looks like she is going to prove him right by giving him more than an A on his short stories. Meanwhile, Serena turned down Yale so she can get her hair dreadlocked at Brown. The comments of the week after the jump! This time, compiled by one of our own gossip girls, SarcasticMeow.

Realer Than Chuck Bass Matching His Socks to His Sweater

• Nate’s never heard of A Clockwork Orange. Of course he hasn’t. Plus 1. —Martell

Plus 2 for the outfits B & S wore to school … I felt like I was back at Beverly Hills High with Cher and Dionne. —BK84 and others

Plus 10 for “Normally, I’d tell you to get a room, but mine is right underneath yours. And I’d like you to remember that.” Eric is the best! —MITZI30

Plus 5 for Blair’s B report definitely being in MLA format. —ForgetVermont

Plus 100 for Dorota´s “Oh Oh Is it war?” Her supporting actress Emmy is only 8 months away! –Simonroma

• When Lily joins Chuck in his effort to oust Uncle Jack, she says that her 20% stake in the company must count for something. Um, yeah, probably about 20%. Which is way less than Uncle Jack’s 51%. Plus 4 because any former groupie of Lincoln Hawk would struggle with a math concept as difficult as percentages. –sharpiepen

Plus 5 for Dan and Serena really believing they are going to be together all four years of college. They are so naive they have no idea they are going to break up by winter break and then become casual sex partners for the rest of their lives! Just like their parents! —Misschristypoo

Plus 10 For Uncle Jack telling Chuck to cancel the “young and unstable” order because he already ate. Eww and Ohh at the same time. – Teacup75 and others

• Was I the only one on the edge of my seat waiting for a nip slip in Serena’s dress at the opera? I felt like at any moment it would just pop out. Plus 2, because Serena wouldn’t dress any other way. —writerfashionista

Plus 10 for how consistently and endlessly self-absorbed Lily always is: practically delighting in her children’s discomfort with her sex life, flaunting her new boyfriend around in public, COMPLETELY FORGETTING she was going to adopt Chuck! – EMMYLOSER

• I loved Chuck’s line about “the black market’s just not what it used to be”, but more, the dreamy, faraway gaze in his eyes as he uttered it. Plus 5. – Purpleandgreen

Faker Than a Prestigious Prep School Hiring a Teach for America Pubescent Greenhorn English Teacher:

Minus 5 for the fact that Chuck Bass did not know the “family lawyer”. Are you kidding me? Kid knows the code to his father’s safe, but does not know the family lawyer? —Princess_peach

Minus 10 for Lily suddenly acting like Mother of the Year with Chuck. Is this the same woman who ditched her kids for both a German Klaus and a Danish Claus, not to mention the white Christmas provided by her then-husband’s blow? — Groundhog

Minus 50. For sending Jack home without developing the Jack-Blair-Chuck scandal. SERIOUSLY? — urbanesque, cbassluv, doodie and others

Minus 2 for “this is Rufus Humphrey, the man I’m seeing”. puh-lease. —LNMAA

Minus 2 for the resurgence of Nate’s Season 1 Episode 1 slick back hair. We much prefer his man bangs! —yogurtonthesteps

• No one wants to freaking see Vanessa and Nate making out in a box where the rest of the audience can clearly see them. Nathaniel, put away your magic flute. Minus 5JMSTRAW

Minus 10 for Lily controlling 71% of Bass Industries. I can’t wrap my head around this. It would be more believable to me if zombie Bart flew in on a purple Pegasus and saved Lily from Jack. —Comfortablysmug

• I honestly expected Rachel to tear her face off and really be Georgina at the end of the episode, while screaming ” I’m baaaaaaaaack!” so, Minus 5 for that not actually happening —chuckandblairplz

Minus 10 years in prison for dating a student. —NYC04106

Gossip Girl Holds a Student-Teacher Conference