J.Lo and Marc Anthony’s Problems Continue

Russell Simmons and his young date got caught trying to steal some foot warmers from a judge at yesterday’s inauguration ceremony. Meanwhile, Sheryl Crow not only played four grueling inauguration galas but then ran into Kid Rock, who left her for Pamela Anderson two years ago, and had to introduce him to her parents, but she did so with much poise. And after J.Lo and Marc Anthony came late to one of the balls, they had to push their way through angry, locked-out fans because the will-call booth had closed after the Obamas’ arrival. Hopefully, these shared ordeals will bring them closer together.

Hero pilot Chesley “Sully” Sullenberg and some of his crew members ate at a D.C. restaurant called Hudson … only a few days after landing in the Hudson! Meanwhile, all the big-city mayors went to the Palm, and Bloomberg and Diana Taylor got a seat upgrade at the swearing-in ceremony. Busta Rhymes said that rappers respect Obama so much that they won’t be coming with the Hennessy and gangstas anymore. It’s important to know that the piece of food that nearly killed cookbook writer Joan Nathan, who was saved by Tom Colicchio with the Heimlich maneuver, was a Persian chicken kebab.

Alan Cumming said that when Rick Warren gave his invocation, he and Susan Sarandon pulled out their gay rainbow flags and waved them. Predictable. Cin says that the ceilings in Maureen Dowd’s house at her big party weren’t tall enough because it’s so old. Also, at another party, Cindy heard Hillary say to an old friend while hugging, “Thanks for your friendship, for always being there for me.” Which is kind of poignant and makes us wish Hill would say that to us, because we have been, even though we moved on to O-loving pretty easily, admittedly.

Meanwhile, at Sundance, Wesley Snipes loaded up on swag before going off to jail for three years for tax evasion. Also there, 50 Cent led a workout session and said, “Men don’t usually go to the gym and say, ‘I’m going to develop my ass.’” Ashton Kutcher has this new, NC17-sounding movie about a gigolo, called Spread. Joaquin Phoenix has started off his new “rap” career with a big temper tantrum, meaning it’s already going about the same as his acting career. Plus, Joaquin had a big hole in his pants near the personal zone. And finally, mazel tov to Anne Hathaway, who made AskMen.com’s poll of the “Top 20 Most Desirable Women.”

J.Lo and Marc Anthony’s Problems Continue