Let Ashley Olsen Be a Little Girl and Lick Her Fingers

Graydon Carter’s Waverly Inn used to get noise complaints from a neighboring dentist’s wife until Carter gave the couple their own table and put them on Vanity Fair’s celebrity-photo page with people like Christopher Walken, Harvey Weinstein, and Rosario Dawson. And guess what, now they don’t complain anymore. Very shrewd, Man With Dairy Queen Hairdo. Ashley Olsen left the bathroom at the Union Square cinema without washing her hands. So what, she probably likes to lick her fingers all day for the butter taste — we do that, no worries. Next item: Our Most Wittily Awesome Governor Paterson said he was dizzy and had stage fright before his big State of the State speech this week, which the Post says “didn’t impress lawmakers.” Nuh-uh, wrong, Post, as we told you before, The Cuddle Guv Kicked Snuggle Butt — he had to memorize the whole speech ‘cause he’s blind! — and that’s the last word on that topic. Sarah Jessica Parker is rumored to be looking for her own place apart from hub Matthew Broderick, who sat in a booth and shared a plate of chicken satay with Calvin Klein daughter and SNL producer Marci, who we would subtly but carefully scrutinize from afar while in college.

Hedge-fund guy Daniel Loeb, who last year bought the $40 mil penthouse at 15 Central Park West, sent out a holiday card with George and Weezy Jefferson Photoshopped into his family pic and the “We’re moving on up…” lyrics on it. Fine, just go ahead and leave Marla Gibbs out of it, we’re sure she’s not too hurt. Cin checks in with Natalie McLennan, the former high-class hooker who trained Ashley Dupré and is now out of the country running a spa and in therapy to handle the emotional scars that prostitution will inevitably leave as long as it stays illegal. And Cin, you did a good job of just letting her tell her story and not getting all judge-y and editorial on that poor girl who’s been through enough. But Cin, also, you crack a pretty funny Dick Cheney joke but absolutely apropos of nothing; you needed to lead into that better.

Lil’ Kim had nothing to do with the making of the new movie about her ex-guy, the Notorious B.I.G., and didn’t communicate with Naturi Naughton, who plays her in the movie. Lindsay Lohan left Sam at home the other night to go to Nobu in West Hollywood with Sean Penn. They’ve been hanging around quite a bit lately, probably venting about how difficult Those Gays can be. Heather Mills, Paul McCartney’s ex, used to practice her pool game at the Rusty Knot in the West Village. Stone Temple Pilots guy Scott Weiland, who just got out of rehab, called his girlfriend a piece of trash in a big fight they had at a Sunset Strip coffee shop. Scott, if you’re putting her before your recovery, fights like this are inevitable. Keep it simple right now! Jermaine Dupri, blamed for the flopping of girlfriend Janet Jackson’s last record, was booted as head of Island Records Wednesday.

Olivia Palermo’s cousin Nevan Donahue, the one we told you yesterday had a warrant out for his arrest from an ‘07 prostitution charge, also apparently tried to give a female cop Oxycontin instead of cash in return for oral sex, and, when arrested, was wearing a green rhinestone belt and shiny black underwear. There’ll be no one glammer in the slammer! Speaking of that sexual option, Kid Rock told a judge who gave him 80 hours of community service after a Waffle House brawl to “suck my —-.” No, Kid, you’re the one who’s supposed to be doing service. Kate Hudson would never do a crazy thing like make out with another girl like people say she did in Miami. Oh, no, not that. Rob Pattinson is tired of playing that vampire.

Let Ashley Olsen Be a Little Girl and Lick Her Fingers