Twenty-three-year-old Jack Zaiback did not have a good Wednesday. He was out on Staten Island when his car nearly collided with another on the West Shore Expressway. The driver of the other automobile, chef Yao Zhou, jumped out of his car and began slashing him in the face with a twelve-inch sushi knife. By the end of the day, he had 100 stitches and wounds that will leave permanent scars on his face. But that was not the end of the indignity! Once the Post got ahold of the story, they couldn’t stop themselves from punning the heck out of it. Their best efforts included:
• “Here’s one guy you wouldn’t want to face on ‘Iron Chef’!”
• “He whipped out his work knife and tried to fillet a Brooklyn man like a yellowfin tuna.”
• “Zaiback and Zhou wound up in their own bloody kitchen nightmare.”
• “‘He tried to make sushi out of my client,’ said Zaiback’s attorney, Alex Grosshtern.”
See? Getting slashed in the face is hilarious. We’re sure the irony of the article’s headline, “HITTING A ‘RAW’ NERVE,” was not lost on the victim.
HITTING A ‘RAW’ NERVE [NYP]