Beware the Short Man

Today’s NYPD blotter in the Post has what might be the best entry we’ve ever seen:

Darren Paul and an accomplice nicknamed Short Man allegedly confronted [a] 35-year-old woman and her husband on Linden Boulevard near Rogers Avenue at 1 p.m. Sunday. Short Man allegedly tried to pepper-spray the husband, but the can was defective. Paul then picked up a bottle and lunged at the man, but ran into a fence, police said. Short Man then allegedly picked up a wallet that the wife dropped. When she asked him for it, he put it on the ground, pulled a knife and dared her to “come and get it,” police said. Instead, she and her husband ran from the scene and called 911. Police found Paul and busted him on a robbery charge. Short Man was still at large last night. The wallet was found near the crime scene - minus $200.

Some questions:

1. Is this the first time in history someone has not had enough pepper spray?
2. What does it mean, he “ran into” a fence?
3. If the wife had dropped the wallet, why was the mugging even necessary in the first place?
4. How awesome is it that the wife asked for it back?
5. If this was you, and you had seen how inept Short Man was with weapons, wouldn’t you have at least been a little tempted to indeed “go and get” the wallet back?
6. Short Man was still at large last night? Was this whole story just an excuse to print that sentence?

Beware the Short Man