Gwyneth and Chris Ditching Madonna for Beyoncé and Jay-Z?

Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow might be ditching former buff BFF Madonna for a newfound friendship with Jay-Z and Beyoncé. Apple and Moses already call the rapper “Uncle Jay.” But it doesn’t seem to be affecting the Material Mama. She hit the dance floor at her own Oscar party with her man-of-the-moment, 22-year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz, while Diddy D.J.-d. Speaking of which, all of today’s gossip columns are full of Oscar dish — catch up, print! Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a lover’s quarrel in the D.J. booth at Guy Oseary’s Oscar party, which Rosario Dawson, Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban, Chris Rock, and Sharon Stone all ditched early to hit up the Vanity Fair bash. Prince’s party, meanwhile, was a “full-on disaster.”

Best Actor Sean Penn didn’t show up to his own Milk producer’s party at BLT Steak, and Jessica Biel strutted down the red carpet without boyfriend Justin Timberlake. Sam Mendes waited 30 minutes for a table at the Vanity Fair party while everyone fawned over his frazzled wife, Best Actress Kate Winslet, who, cradling her statue, screamed “Wooo!” at all who congratulated her and tripped down a set of stairs. “It’s a doozy!” she warned.

Meanwhile, Seth Rogen wondered aloud if masturbation could be used “as a form of weight control,” while chatting about Jewish culture with Sacha Baron Cohen, Sarah Silverman, Jonah Hill, and Jason Segel. Then Jonah Hill went home to “smoke a joint.” And Zac Posen, who dressed Tina Fey, told Cindy Adams how everyone in the industry has a sheep mentality, but he “works his ass off to be creative.” Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson left the W Hotel together on Sunday morning, fueling rumors that the duo might be an item again. And Parker Posey flirted with the bartender at Vero, leaving a $50 tip for two $10 glasses of wine.

Speaking of beverages, a foul-mouthed Mario Batali earned the nickname “Fanta Pants” after sporting bright-orange shorts to the $1,000-a-plate South Beach Wine & Food Festival, where he admittedly said “the word ‘mother[bleep]er’ a lot” as part of an angry tirade in front of King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia of Spain. And while Jane Fonda wishes everyone would forget her 1972 antiwar documentary, FTA (standing for “[Bleep]” the Army), especially the Vietnam War vets who picketed the Eugene O’Neill Theatre just before Saturday’s preview of her new show, 33 Variations, Sundance decided to re-air it. And Giorgio Armani is getting more press for his spat with Anna Wintour than for the opening of his $38 million store on Fifth. While the designer didn’t directly attack fashion’s grande dame, he ranted on ABC’s Nightline about those who wear dark glasses to sit through fashion shows. Maybe he was talking about Karl Lagerfeld?

Gwyneth and Chris Ditching Madonna for Beyoncé and Jay-Z?