Back in August, Kimber VanRy was catapulted into the forefront of the nation’s great stoop-drinking debate when he was fined $25 for public drinking by the
fun police. VanRy could have simply paid the ticket, but no, he decided to fight for all those who couldn’t fight for themselves, or were just too drunk to do so. Nearly six months later, the ticket remains unresolved, and it’s clear why: Nobody wants to enforce this law.
On February 3, when the trial was supposed to begin, the presiding judge was supposedly “out sick” — with guilt, obviously — and the date was postponed. Then VanRy’s new judge, Jerome Kay, recused himself because — get this — he is aware of the building in question. “I know that building, I know that stoop, so remaining on the case would give the appearance that I could not be fair, pro or con,” the judge told the Brooklyn Paper. Uh-huh. We’re not legal scholars or anything, but that sounds like a complete cop-out. VanRy’s lawyer, Tina Kansas, was surprised as well. “I’m shocked,” she told the Daily News. “It certainly wasn’t something I was expecting.” It’s obvious, though, what’s going on here — first the “out sick” excuse, then the odd recusal: Stoop drinkers are everywhere. They have placed themselves throughout the upper echelons of government. And their religious devotion to drinking in semi-public areas cannot be superseded by the laws of man.