Christopher J. Warren, a 26-year-old Californian who was involved with a mortgage company accused of defrauding investors of around $100 million, was arrested in Buffalo yesterday. He had $70,000 stuffed in his boots, plus four ounces of platinum, certificates showing the weight and purity of $1.1 million worth of gold, and $1 million in Swiss bank certificates. Also, he had been on a quite a journey!
• First, on February 3, he’d flown to Ireland on a chartered private jet.
• But it was boring there. Or something. So he traveled to Lebanon. On the way there, he showed some of the flight crew the $4 to $5 million in gold he was carrying. Heavy!
• It was only after flying all that way that he realized he’d actually rather be in Canada. Because who wouldn’t? So he flew to Toronto.
• But once there he was unsatisfied. He wanted to go to Mexico. So he grabbed a cab (you’d have to; with that much money in your boots and metal on your person, walking isn’t really an option) to the border of Buffalo, New York. Because that is on the way to Mexico, sort of.
It’s actually kind of crazy that he didn’t get caught until Buffalo, right?! But then again: When a man walks funny in Buffalo, people notice.