The Bronx woman shot by a 30-inch arrow of unknown origin this weekend, is, predictably, kind of shocked, since shooting arrows at people hasn’t been in vogue in New York City for about 400 years. Who shoots an arrow these days? Why her? These are reasonable questions, ones that police, and Arrow Lady, are asking. Talking to reporters from her hospital bed, where she will make a full recovery, she “joked that she always hoped her fifteen minutes of fame would come from her singing talent, not a bizarre crime.” It’s true, the fates have dealt this kindly soul an unexpected hand. But to be honest, chances are that this freak occurrence provided Arrow Lady, née Denise Delgado-Brown, the only fifteen minutes she was ever going to get. After all, most people never become famous for any amount of time, Warholian predictions notwithstanding.
So maybe, Arrow Lady, you should look at this as an opportunity. By an act of God — or, more likely, a high teenager — you actually get those fifteen minutes. Now run with it! Go on a morning show and recount your harrowing tale, which we’ve already heard in its entirety. Maybe do a musical reenactment, even! Make an appearance (taking proper safety precautions) at a regional archery competition. Start a charity for victims of arrow violence. It doesn’t matter; just make the best of this moment. Your fifteen minutes are ticking away. Don’t let them slip by unfulfilled. We’re rooting for you, Arrow Lady.