sex diaries

The Middle-Aged Musician With a Porn Addiction

Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, we bring you the Middle-Aged Musician With a Porn Addiction: male, 50, Manhattan, straight, in a long-term relationship.

11 a.m.: Wake up and check e-mail — then quickly check two or three of my favorite porn sites and blogs to see what’s happening.
12:30 p.m.: Still not into the day yet — check my porn sites again. I’m divorced and have been with my current girlfriend for five years. We have an amazing sex life, but lots of other issues. We don’t live together and haven’t been seeing each other that often lately. Trying to work things out.

2:30 p.m.: Working in my studio with two computer monitors. The big monitor has my music, the laptop e-mail and porn. The images on my laptop are much more compelling. Wonder if I’m addicted to porn, and if I have the balls to write down how much I am checking porn sites, and how little I’m actually working.
3:45 p.m.: I need a break. Jerk off to a video of a Brazilian on this new (and fabulous) free porn site I’ve discovered. What is it with the amazing butts on these Brazilian girls?? Have a great orgasm — then feel guilty for being so sex-obsessed.
11 p.m.: Watch Channel 7 News and wonder what it would be like to have sex with Liz Cho.
3:30 a.m.: Finally give in and jerk off again.

11 a.m.: Wake up and do the same as yesterday.
4 p.m.: Spending day frantically organizing credit issues. Financial ruin trumps horniness.
6:30 p.m.: Manage to start working on music.
9:30 p.m.: While my chicken is cooking, I fire up my favorite site and am in angst over what video to masturbate to. Multitasking. I’m in the mood to see a big ass, and finally settle on a blonde that looks like a friend of my niece’s that I desperately wanted to do. Her huge butt does the trick.
7:01 p.m:. Wonder if I’m 50 or 15?

11 a.m.: Check my e-mail and LOTS of sex sites. Feeling horny today.
12:30 p.m. Having difficulty focusing. Wondering if I should jerk off and get it over with. It never really works, but it helps. Jerk off to a YouTube video so freaky that I’m embarrassed to describe it.
11 p.m.: Watch Big Love and wonder what it would be like to have three wives. Heaven and hell all wrapped in one.

12:30 p.m.: Wake up late and horny, but I hate jerking off first thing in the morning. It makes me feel pathetic, and it’s hard to finish.
2 p.m.: Pick up a prescription at the pharmacy. The woman there always intrigues me. She’s kind of ugly but has an rear that defies age.
2:01 p.m.: Wonder why I like big asses so much?
8 p.m.: Talk to my girlfriend whom I haven’t seen all week. Am I masturbating so much to avoid the trap of a relationship?
1:30 a.m.: Jerk off once again. Damn, this must be boring to read.

Noon: Find myself obsessively looking at Internet porn. I feel addicted today.
2 p.m.: Watch another video too dirty to describe in detail.
8 p.m.: Pick up my girlfriend. Dinner reservations at 9 p.m. She looks delicious.
10:30 p.m.: We would be having amazing sex were it not for the intense fight we had all throughout dinner.
2 a.m.: We go to bed. No sex.

10:30 a.m.: Wake up and almost have sex, but the tension’s too great.
2 p.m.: Go food shopping for girlfriend and lust after about ten different girls along the way. I just spent the night with a gorgeous woman and had no sex.
7 p.m.: Make dinner together, and almost have pre-dinner sex, but have another fight again.
1 a.m.: Go to bed. I’m in a very edgy mood after a lot of bickering. Very frustrated. We make up and I get an awesome blow job. It’s a peace offering. I’m not above a mercy fuck.

10 a.m.: Nothing like a woman climbing on top of you minutes after you open your eyes.
12:30 p.m.: I go home and start looking at porn the second I get in the door. The only thing that gets me hornier than no sex is good sex. I can’t win.
2:45 p.m.: I’m getting sick of this log. While I’m generally able to talk/think/write about sex indefinitely, the awareness of the degree to which I watch porn and masturbate is bumming me out.
10 p.m. Jerk off anyway.

TOTALS: Seven acts of masturbation; ten-plus sessions of viewing Internet pornography; three aborted acts of intercourse due to fighting with girlfriend; one act of make-up fellatio; one act of morning sex.

The Middle-Aged Musician With a Porn Addiction