Global warming “will alter Atlantic Ocean circulation in a way that will move more water to New York by 2100,” says a study by Florida State University released today. Normally we’d blow this off by saying, “Whatever, Florida State, you’re just jealous,” but with all of the other apocalyptic stuff going on lately we figure we should probably take this thing seriously. And by that we mean: Daily Intel is building an ark.
We haven’t figured out what materials we’re going to build it out of yet (we’re thinking something shiny?), but we figure we have a few more years to work out those details and we’d better get to the important stuff first, by which we of course mean the Guest List. Here’s what we have so far:
Guest List, Ark
1. Us (incl. Dan Amira, space allowing)
2. Leighton Meester
3. Julian Schnabel
4. Anderson Cooper
5. Paul Rudd
6. Rachel Maddow
7. Jay-Z (but not Beyoncé)
8. John Paulson (we’ll have to invite him, since he’ll end up being the benefactor who supplies the materials)
9. Tina Fey
Anne Hathaway (she’d make us feel fat) PUPPIES!!!!!!
This ark is going to rule. It will be like the Real World: Semester at Sea meets The Voyage of the Mimi meets Cocoon, since we’ll all be ancient by the time we have to actually get on the thing. Who else should we save from a watery grave?