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Gossip Girl Returns to Form

It’s time for our weekly recap of the recap! This week, making a thing of it, Daily Intel’s Commenter from back-in-the-day, Comfortably Smug, rounds up the best of the comments from this week’s reality index. If you’re a regular commenter and you’d like this unpaid honor, email us at

The absence of secret societies, legal wrangling over Bass Industries, and other distractions in last week’s episode of Gossip Girl elevated our hopes for a late-season return to form. There were the breakups, hook-ups, make-ups, and ragers that had initially formed the foundation of the Gossip Girl we fell in love with so long ago. Nate with B, Serena gone wild, and Chuck getting his allotment of cardio exercise gave us exactly what we needed to keep breath bated while we wait for the show’s return later this month. (And Chris and Jessica realize that they misheard what Vanya said about Dorota, but you have to understand, they have old-fashioned TVs, and everyone knows it’s impossible to hear asides when they’re not in HD.)

Special note. We’d like to take this time to congratulate the lovely miss Julie Stone for being the first Daily Intel commenter to appear in an episode of The Greatest Show of Our Time as a member of Poppy’s entourage. Bravo!

Realer Than a 16-Year-Old Willing to Ruin Her Own Birthday Just to Be Contrarian:

Plus 2 for Self Absorbed Dan describing his one fan to three girls at the

Plus 2 for Dan wearing a tshirt from The Strand. Because of course he would. —ELISECB

•Vanessa being both relevant and entertaining deserves lots of plus pointsCALLME

Plus 2 for Chuck standing on the stairwell like Lucifer at the party and making Vanessa do his bidding. He like, loves watching shit burn down. —MAGNOLIACAKE22

•Overwhelming sexual tension is right. Because Chuck was a total sleaze in the elevator and yet you could tell Vanessa knew she was going to tap that Bass. Plus 10CBASSLUV

Plus 5 for Lily leaving the party clean-up to “a team of highly trained professionals” so she can lounge on her boyfriend’s couch. I wonder how many times she said that about raising her children? —IAMBLAIRWALDORF_BLAIRWALDORFISME

Plus 20: Things UES love waking up to? The Nikkei on the rise? —A1B2C3

Plus 3 for Chuck’s evening routine — his silk robe, slippers and scotch by the fire. It never gets old to me. He probably has a standing reservation in the living room and the rest of the family knows to avoid that room between the specified hours. —PURPLEANDGREEN

Plus 2 for Blair’s transformation from last episode, sartorially at least. I adore that she completely changes her fashion and styling based on her current plan for world domination. Don’t we all? Last week she was all about scorching earth and burning down the house so it was trenchcoats, Herve Ledger, pale skin, and dark red lips. Now she has decided to reclaim the Vanderbilt ring so it is pastels, plaids, soft curls, loose hair buns, and dewy make- up. So very pre- Kennedy Jackie. Most perfect as she plays the role of dutiful “friend” and future senator’s wife. I hope Blair and Tripp’s fiancee bond. I am betting they share a lot in common. —KRISSNW704

Plus 5 for Nate telling Vanessa she’s become like Blair, since history shows that he needs to be judgey when he dumps a girl. Plus 3 more for him having no problem judging Vanessa for acting like Blair while at the same time getting back together with Blair herself. —EMMYLOSER

Plus 10 for Jenny turning 16 and thus having to have an eating disorder whilst being contrary to absolutely everything that your family does for you, because that’s what 16 year olds do. No she doesn’t want a catered party, she wants to have chilli gas all night and awkwardly play Twister with her gay besties and pretend she doesn’t want to mount them out of Little J loneliness. —KDOW3

• Vanessa gives Chuck the sad faced morning after lie about not wanting love and this being JUST about sex. Chuck agrees. Vanessa smiles. She’s been BASSED. Plus 5HEADBANDS_OF_INSPIRATION

Faker Than a Lothario Forgoing Postcoital Skin-on-Skin Contact for Night Attire of Any Kind:

Minus 1 for Serena Poppy Barcelona. Unless Gossip Girl Narrates and Woody Allen Directs. Then Plus 3.ISGOODATMATH

Minus 2 for Lily’s surprise that Serena was going on vacation without letting anyone know. Serena is EXACTLY like Lily. Who just up and left for Boston on a whim without so much as a thought to her TEENAGE children back home?? Like Mother like Daughter. —ANNIE_IN_NY

• Also, I can’t believe I forgot to add this, but Blair kept talking about the ducks, which wouldn’t have been there when it was snowing, and then we saw her wandering around among geese instead. —CHRIS ROVZAR (NY MAG) [Ed: Thanks Smug!]

• People in Boston would never have any idea what area code 718 is. People in 212 don’t even know what the hell 718 is. Minus 5FSUZANN

• Just a thought - maybe if Rufus actually stayed at the Gallery and worked, instead of running uptown to tell Lily everything in person, Dan and Jenny would have more than a CD collection for a college fund. Points: Minus 5 BLAIREDITH

• Dear Vanessa: Don’t feel too special — Chuck will do anyone wearing purple with a pulse. I’m sure if Grimace showed up at the Palace with a proposition and pills, he would get Chuck-ed a few times too. Points: Minus 1BLAIREDITH

• Okay, so is this Chuck’s strategy for picking up women who aren’t hookers? Wait until Nate dumps them under pretty messy circumstances (i.e. Nate’s dad being a raging coke addict and a white- collar thief, Nate possibly cheating on Vanessa with Blair), have them drink some alcohol, wait until they are vulnerable and feeling like there’s no way they can get Nate back, then whisk them away so they can have sex? Minus 10 because he’s Chuck Bass and Chuck Bass shouldn’t have to make do with Nate’s sloppy seconds. —JNP1013

• Dom 96 WAS NOT a good vintage. Minus 10 points to both of you for not doing your research!! —BLAKWDOW3 [Smug’s note: Right you are, it’s actually the 98 that is the more celebrated vintage. Ed’s Note: We’ve had it. It’s good. Deal with it.]

Gossip Girl Returns to Form