Yesterday, as you may or may not know, the SEC accused Bruce Bent, the founder of Reserve Primary Fund and his son, Bruce Bent II, of fraud, alleging they misled investors, ratings firms, and trustees when their money-market fund broke the buck during the panic back in September. Our knowledge of what the suit is about ends there, because when we tried to read about the travails of the father and son team in The Wall Street Journal today, our eyes just kept wandering to the illustrations that accompanied the story, because: What in the name of Jerry Garcia happened here? Really. Look at them. How did this long-haired free spirit end up throwing away his dreams of touring with Rusted Root and joining the family business? Was there a lady involved? Was Young Bruce planning to run off with a woman called Flower, to Vermont, where they would live off the land? But then Bruce the Elder intervened, by secretly bribing Flower or — no — by hiring a private investigator to look into her past, whereupon he discovered a dark secret, one so dark that she would rather leave her beloved forever than tell him, for she felt it would break his heart more if he knew the truth? Did Young Bruce’s heart then harden, and he has never loved again? You may say that these are inconsequential questions, friends, when people’s 401(k)s are at stake, but mark our words: There is an untold story here. Uncover it, and you have your case.*
*We don’t know what we’re talking about either but it sounds right.