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Gossip Girl Marks Its Territory

This week in the Gossip Girl comments, Editors Chris and Jessica were taken to task for thinking Chuck swigged Bombay Sapphire in the morning (it was mouthwash) and for not mentioning how gross the ring was that Rufus was looking at for Lily (it was hideous). Happily, the ludicrousness of Chuck’s basketball outfit and the return of Georgina Sparks (and her theme song) brought us all back together. And with the help of Dorota’s surveillance equipment, Commenter Martell has rounded up the week’s Greatest Comments on the Greatest Episode in Months of the Greatest Show of Our Time.

More Real Than Blair Having a Special Hat Just for Spying

• Plus 10 for Blair bailing on moving in with Nate- you know she would never go off to college without Dorota!!! Where would Dorota sleep in a 1 bedroom?? —infernoinfanta

• Plus 5 for Nate mentioning that it could take “hours” (note that he didn’t say “dollars,” sigh.) for him and Blair to take car services between NYU and Columbia. THANK FUCKING GOD FOR THE ACKNOWLEDGMENT THAT TRAVEL TAKES TIME IN THIS CITY. —Wonkettelover

• Plus 10 for everyone at the Jesus Camp having shirts that read OMJC! Oh My Jesus Christ! —Rgh

• Gossip girl depicts Connecticut by showing the back window of the limo full of trees. Plus 500 —sgoodatmath

• Plus 20 for Rufus showing his colors as an amateur investor—after being horribly patronized by Gabriel—by hand-delivering a personal check for the Africa fund. Of course he doesn’t know that such transactions take place only through shady accountants and offshore bank accounts. —Monymony

• Plus 10 for Nate saying “I love you” and Blair not saying it back. —Sarcasticmeow

• “And what the hell is Butter?!” Plus 2—Sandyport

• Plus 2 Serena-“You’re using this as an excuse to get together again” to Blair and Chuck. Plus 3 for neither of them denying it —Sweydie

• First of all…I think Gabriel has an undiagnosed pituitary problem. Plus 10.—Miserable

More Fake Than Chuck Playing Basketball at All, Let Alone on the Lower East Side

• Blair may be persuasive, but Chuck’s limo driver would never abandon him in the backwoods with a religious cult. That would be like Dorota abandoning Blair at a TJ Maxx. Points: Minus 15 —Blairedith

• Re: Lily’s future engagement ring. To borrow from Regina George: that is the ugliest effing ring I’ve ever seen.—La_Faerie

• Minus 3 for Gabriel ending “And if we act now…” with “we will all get triple our investments.” Was anyone else hoping for “FREE SNUGGIES FOR ALL!!!!”—Kelly0824

• Minus 5 for Chuck leaving the “Murray Hill” apartment to take Blair’s phone call and ending up on 57th Street. Even the Bass helicopter wouldn’t get him to midtown that quickly. —Headbandlove

• “You know there’s nothing else I’d rather do” Oh really Gabriel? You want to watch a movie with your girlfriend’s mom’s Brooklyn boyfriend after knowing Serena a couple weeks? Minus 5. —Isgoodatmath

NO ONE who lives in a co-op enjoys going to their meetings, much attending a made up semi-formal “meeting party”. Minus 10, because if that situation were at all realistic, except for the very lonely, most people would have pounded down a glass of wine, grabbed a slice of brie and then retreated to their respective apartments. —Brawndo

• Minus 4 for bringing up the “cater water” vest thing again, lets be honest no one would notice that dans wearing anything different than his usual get up. —Iheartblairxo

• Minus 10 for the Gabriel/Poppy investment scheme as a major plot point. Really - seasoned, greedy Upper East Side businessmen writing checks to a Ken doll on the spot? Think not. —Patrolmag

• Minus 3 for Serena telling Blair in the beginning that she married (or almost married, or basically married – I forget the exact wording) Gabriel in Spain. Didn’t we clear this up in the last episode? How is she still confused? —Awomanda

• Why do the writers make every character appear at every party?? It’s just not plausible that Blair, Chuck, Serena and Nate were thinking “hey there’s a co-op meeting at the Van Der Woodsen’s, it’ll be off the chain!” Minus 10. —Kdow3

Gossip Girl Marks Its Territory