One of the reasons why the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo is so successful is because the likability and relatability of its stars has been on a steady decline, reaching a wonderfully delicious, dizzy nadir in New Jersey. Every show has its train wrecks, but nowhere do they speed so fast and burn so bright as they do in the latest incarnation of the show. Today the network announced that it will be creating a new show: The Real Housewives of Washington, D.C. Network V.P. Frances Berwick explained: “We’re tapping personalities who are among Washington D.C.’s influential players, cultural connoisseurs, fashion sophisticates and philanthropic leaders — the people who rub elbows with the most prominent people in the country and easily move in the city’s diverse political and social circles.”
Yeah, no way. Bravo never gets those women. “Influential players,” “cultural connoisseurs,” and “fashion sophisticates”? Try “screeching harridans,” “virtuousos of bad taste,” and “uncomfortably desperate” social climbers. Sure, it would be great to have a Washington hostess in whose dining room you could expect to see a, say, Sally Quinn or even Michelle Obama show up. But that show would never happen. Instead, you’ll get a bunch of over-Botoxed bimbos sleeping with junior-varsity Beltway power players, drinking Chardonnay out of mugs in the breakfast nook, and talking smack about The One Who Is Slightly More Stupid, Heavy, or Poor Than the Others.
Not that this won’t make for great television. But let’s just keep our anticipation to scale.