When we read the headline “Jailhouse Bar Mitzvah” this morning, we wondered to ourselves, “Isn’t that a novelty party song by Tracy Jordan?” But no, no. That’s “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah,” which is funny because it’s a completely ridiculous concept that would never happen. Way more absurd than, say, allowing a guy locked up in the Tombs to take over the prison gym and have a 60-person coming-of-age party for his son. The Corrections Department allowed scam artist Tuvia Stern (who spent nearly twenty years on the lam) to hire a kosher caterer, invite several prominent rabbis and his entire family, and provide entertainment from the must-have Orthodox singer Yaakov Shwekey. The jail even paid the officers overtime for Stern, and allowed his family to bring cell phones into jail. This afternoon the mayor announced, “Clearly, this is not something that should have taken place.” He’s launching an investigation. Even though the bar mitzvah was such a success that Stern had a lovely engagement party for his daughter using the same space!
Pretty unremarkable, we think. See, if they’d have had a bris there, too, then that would have been more ridiculous than a bar mitzvah for werewolves. But just barely.