today in astor-ia

Some Old Rich People Understand Irony

Anthony Marshall claims that his mother, Brooke Astor, offered him all of her money in 2003. This issue is at the heart of the trial against him and his former lawyer, who are accused of swindling the aging society doyenne in her final, declining years. Luckily, her estate-planning lawyer, Henry Christensen, backs up the story. Unluckily, he says she said it ironically. Apparently this was the phrase she said, after Marshall pestered her for more funds to give to charity: “Do you want all of my money?” Now, let’s look at this, in every way it could be emphasized:

Do you want all of my money?”
“Do you want all of my money?”
“Do you want all of my money?”
“Do you want all of my money?”
“Do you want all of my money?”
“Do you want all of my money?”

If you say it in your head in an old-rich-white-lady accent, it comes across as sarcastic in nearly every possible permutation. That may be because in our experience, old rich white ladies, including ones related to us, never offer up all of their cash — but still, we’re going to have to rule “ironic” here.

LAWYER: ASTOR IRONICALLY ASKED SON IF HE WANTED ALL OF HER MONEY [NYP]

Some Old Rich People Understand Irony