If the new iPhone app telling anal-retentive commuters exactly where to stand on the subway so that they can be closest to the right exit at their destinations wasn’t enough, another in development uses “augmented-reality” video to show them where the nearest subway is at all times. This overkill is not nearly enough: There are many more iPhone apps that we desperately need. After an internal poll at the New York offices, we identified ten. Tell us what we missed in the comments.
1. 311Text Text-based 311 for the iPhone: Grab GPS-enabled alternate-side parking info, complain about a neighbor (and include unflattering photographic evidence), never wait on hold.
2. iPee GPS-enabled public-toilet detection, sponsored by Starbucks.
3. GoldenAge It’s a Google Maps time machine that settles arguments, informs tourists, and triggers memories: Hold up your phone and see images of what any given block looked like 20, 50, or 100 years ago.
4. Automated Teller Teller Tells you which ATMs will charge you $3.99, and which will charge a more reasonable $0.99. Added bonus: This app will also helpfully point out the nearest McDonald’s $0.99 ATM.
5. SaveIndie Because we all killed Kim’s Underground, we need a searchable app that makes shopping at local record stores and bookstores almost as easy as Amazon.com.
6. Suddenly Open Table The counter to Internet reservation systems: This app alerts you to suddenly available, impossible-to-get tables at Minetta Tavern and Momofuku Ko.
7. Commuter Mommuter Figures out exactly when you need to leave your apartment in order to be on time — then lies to you, just like Mom, to make sure you actually leave at the correct time.
8. Alcorexia Compares the caloric values of cocktails and foods, so you know to skip the guac if you drank two margaritas. Like a celebrity liquid purge — but drunker.
9. Funnel-Cake Alert GPS-enabled in order to help you avoid the powdered sugar of New York’s many identically awful street fairs.
10. iFume Love complaining, but often find that nobody nearby cares what you think? This app offers a safe place for bitchy people stuck watching TaxiTV, waiting in line, or walking behind tourists.