Until this morning, we thought our biggest problems this summer were the crappy weather, the coming animal takeover, the recession, and our own seriously protracted quarterlife crisis. But now, we realize that these are the concerns of a mostly unfettered mind. And that they pale in comparison to the larger, physical threat looming on our horizon — on all of our horizons. New Yorkers: Our enemy is among us. It is, more precisely, in between our toes. It is: our flip-flops.
Two Daily News reporters had their summer flip-flops tested at a lab, and here is what they found: fecal bacteria. Staphylococci, as well as Aerococcus viridans, Rothia mucilaginosa, and a number of other things we can’t pronounce but that sound terrifying, and, most terrifying of all, something called Staph aureus.
Worst-case scenario: It enters your bloodstream, goes untreated and you die. But even mere contact with the skin can yield nasty results. “Staph aureus can be pretty dangerous,” says Kinney. “This strain isn’t methicillin-resistant (MRSA), but it is Staph aureus, and it can still cause infections — typically boils and skin infections.”
BOILS. This is some Biblical shit. If this is a clever scheme dreamed up by the makers of platform heels, it worked on us. To think: There are two pairs of these things under our desk right now. We suggest the city collect all flip-flops and burn them in a towering pyre. Death to all Havaianas!