stand clear of the closing doors

Councilwoman Still Trying, Failing to Get Subway Named for to Honor Michael Jackson

Councilwoman Letitia James is on a mission to pay tribute Michael Jackson via the Hoyt-Schermerhorn subway station — where the video for the music legend’s “Bad” was filmed — and she will not be deterred. First she wanted to rename the station for the King of Pop. The MTA shot that down. Maybe just a plaque, she suggested. The MTA was all, “We’d rather not.” Now James has come up with another idea: commission a Jackson-themed art contest in the station. There’s already art all over the subways, after all. Surely, the MTA will have no choice but to accept this watertight proposal. Or … not! A spokesman for the MTA “said the agency only adds new artwork to stations that are also undergoing rehabilitation projects,” and Hoyt-Schermerhorn won’t be rehabilitated for five years, by which time nobody will even remember who Michael Jackson was. It’s a setback, for sure, but we seriously doubt James is ready to give up on this most pressing and vital issue. And neither are we. After brainstorming for the better part of six minutes, we’ve come up with some other ways to honor the memory of Michael Jackson at Hoyt-Schermerhorn:

• Bump the subway fare at the station to $6.25 as a reminder of Jackson’s June 25th death.

• Prohibit all other forms of ambulatory travel inside the station besides moonwalking.

• Play “Bad” on a loop over the public-address system — all the time, every day.

• Provide the station’s sanitation workers with sequined latex gloves.

• Have Michael Jackson’s name posthumously changed to Michael Hoyt-Schermerhorn.


Councilwoman Still Trying, Failing to Get Subway Named for to Honor Michael Jackson