the greatest show of our time

Ed Westwick Has a New Item With Which to Tickle You

Gossip Girl star Ed Westwick, better known as Chuck the Bassmaster, has apparently received a new tattoo: one of a feather quill. In our experience, this type of body branding means one of three things:

1. He’s hoping to link himself to the tradition of historical literary Lotharios that began with Petronius Arbiter and continued through the Marquis de Sade.
2. He realized he was never going to have biceps, and knew he had to have something on his arms for people to look at. See: Lee, Tommy, and Jolie, Angelina.
3. This is fake, and we are all suckers. See: Patridge, Audrina, and Your Drunk Girlfriend, Cancun.

Westwick Gets Fugly New Tattoos [Oh No They Didn’t]

Ed Westwick Has a New Item With Which to Tickle You