U.N. Traffic Does Not Part for Clive Owen

Clive Owen was an hour late to a dinner with Emeril Lagasse because he got caught in U.N. traffic. Beyoncé has promised to wear “appropriate” clothing and tone down her dance routine for an upcoming concert in Kuala Lumpur, after groups in the predominantly Muslim country indicated they were not ready for her jelly. “We are not against entertainment as long as it is within the framework of our culture and our religion,” a member of the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party said. “We are against Western sexy performances.” LeBron James “threw temper tantrums” and was rude to everyone except Mary J. Blige and Akon at Marquee the other night. Summit Entertainment wants to make a fifth Twilight movie, even though there are only four books in the series. Charlize Theron wants to play Catwoman. Hugh Jackman thinks Neil Patrick Harris is going to be the next Federer. Martha Stewart apologized to Jessica Simpson for saying she should have watched her maltipoo, which was snatched by a coyote, more closely. And Britney Spears will share 50/50 custody over her children with K-Fed. Guess the L.A. Superior Court couldn’t figure out who was worse.

Jessica Alba showed up at Clinton’s Global Initiative opening reception looking somewhat gaunt and with orange-hued hair. Obama appointed Emilio Estefan to be on the “Commission to Study the Potential Creation of a National Museum of the American Latino.” Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas canceled on prominent Jewish leaders as the guest of honor at their Millennium Hotel dinner. In recorded conversations with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, Michael Jackson said that if he had an hour with Hitler, he could “somehow touch something inside him.”

Kelly Rutherford filed a restraining order against her ex-husband for harassing both her and her former nanny. Penn Badgley caught singer Frankie Negron’s Canal Room performance. Meryl Streep watched Carrie Fisher’s new play, Wishful Drinking, on Broadway. Emmy Rossum sang a duet with her new boyfriend, Adam Duritz, during Wednesday’s “Feel Free” concert in Central Park. Hayden Panettiere says she doesn’t need to go to college because she learned everything she needs to know in Hollywood. And in response to critics’ attacks on her scary-skinny weight, Victoria Beckham insists that she eats. Sure she does.

Jessica Biel signed on to climb Mount Kilimanjaro as part of “Summit to Summit,” a program to raise awareness of the global clean-water crisis, but Justin Timberlake has yet to join. Texas cops arrested National Lampoon actor Randy Quaid near the Mexico border yesterday for skipping out on a $10,000 hotel bill. OK! magazine is paying Khloe Kardashian $300,000 for an exclusive on her and Lamar Odom’s wedding pictures, but Odom won’t make a dime. And Marilyn Manson has swine flu, noting, “Unfortunately, I am going to survive.”

U.N. Traffic Does Not Part for Clive Owen