Are Anthony and Stanford Really Going to Get Married in the Sex and the City Movie?

There have been a lot of wedding rumors swirling around the sequel to the Sex and the City movie. First, actress Kim Cattrall was photographed on the set of the film wearing a wedding dress. (Kristin Davis, on the Today show earlier this week, urged fans not to assume that she ends up married, though.) And for a few weeks now, there have been rumors that there will be a gay wedding between Anthony Marantino (played by Mario Cantone) and Stanford Blatch (played by Willie Garson). Today, Perez Hilton is the latest person to report this. Photographs from the set have indicated there will definitely be gay nuptials of some sort, but we really hope it’s not between the two of them.

One of the best episodes of Sex and the City ever was the one in which Carrie was a runway model and fell down. (Falling down is always funny. Falling down and having Heidi Klum walk over you? Priceless.) A subplot of that episode was that Charlotte had set up Anthony and Stanford on a blind date to the fashion show. This ended disastrously because Anthony thought Stanford wasn’t cute enough for him, and illustrated (as good Sex and the City episodes are wont to do, often with terrible puns) a very real phenomenon. Girls, for whatever reason, are constantly trying to set their gay friends up with one another — and not because they think their personalities are a good match or anything, but just because they are two gay people that the girl happens to know. Since it’s well intentioned, it’s hard to think of it as patronizing, but in a way it really is. Sex head writer Michael Patrick King is gay, and he probably had it happen to him many times, which is why that part of the episode ended up ringing so true.

If Anthony and Stanford, who are basically the only gay long-term characters on the show, end up together, it’ll feel patronizing in the same way. They don’t make sense together, but we might as well just throw them in the sack and see if their parts connect!

Eh. We’re probably thinking about this way too hard. We’ve seen weirder gay couples work out, and it is a nice statement to have a gay wedding in a popular mainstream movie. And if Liza Minnelli really does, as is rumored, perform the ceremony, it’ll at least be fun to watch Mario Cantone self-combust on camera. But still, to all you ‘mo hos out there: Gays are more likely to irrationally hate one another than experience love at first sight, so be careful when setting up! Think of them as samurai fighting fish: They can only stand being around one another if there is a mirror or something shiny nearby to distract them.

Are Anthony and Stanford Really Going to Get Married in the Sex and the City Movie?