The Story of Megan Fox and a Giant Banana

Even though rumors have been flying that Justin Timberlake dumped Jessica Biel for Rihanna, the supposedly still-together couple was spotted holding hands in Santa Barbara, but not smiling. Madonna told David Letterman she’d rather “get run over by a train” than marry again. Amy Winehouse and her ex-husband proclaimed their eternal love for each other — on Facebook. Elizabeth Edwards might be ready to divorce John. Entourage’s Kevin Dillon was causing drama in Vegas by flirting with women who weren’t his wife. And Megan Fox used to dress up as a giant banana for work. That’s what she said.

Sarah Palin’s agents are looking for a cosmetics company to capitalize on her “lipstick on a pit bull” catchphrase. Meanwhile, preorders on her book, Going Rogue, made it to No. 1 at both Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Eliot Spitzer refuses to fade from the limelight, fueling rumors that he plans to run again. He’s arguing in favor of Obama’s economic policies at NYU next month and moderating Alan Dershowitz and Jeremy Ben-Ami’s discussion on American foreign policy and Israel at the 92nd Street Y. Eli Manning ate at Uncle Jack’s Steakhouse in midtown. Bette Midler says she’s never going to retire. Roman Polanski’s Gstaad neighbors can’t imagine why he was arrested for drugging and raping a 13-year-old in 1977, defending, “Everybody loves him. He built a beautiful chalet with old wood.” And there’s an entire community of residents under four-feet-three-inches tall in southern China, and it’s becoming a tourist attraction.

Mariah Carey tripped twice en route to her Maybach after a late night at Little West 12th. But she wasn’t drunk, “she was probably wobbly because she was wearing 7-inch Louboutins.” Carey also reports that she finally feels at peace, and that she and Nick Cannon want to start procreating. Some say Kate Hudson is pregnant with A-Rod’s baby, but she probably just had a few extra nachos at the game. Jay-Z spent $2,000 at M2 on Saturday. Fat Joe had a hissy fit in the VIP booth of Imperial when Jay-Z upstaged him by rolling up to the club, blasting songs off his new album, and taking over the D.J. booth.

As if dating Kate Moss and Sienna Miller hasn’t boosted male model Jamie Burke’s ego enough, he just hit up Electric Lady Studios with Mark Ronson to record a track for Kofi Annan’s Time for Climate Justice campaign. Some Harvard kids stalked Emma Watson at the Harvard-Brown game. A nude photo of Brooke Shields when she was 10 was removed from a London art gallery. We don’t even want to go there. Dita Von Teese is busy prancing around in her underwear for her new Wonderbra line, “Sparkle Teese,” but what else is new? Kristin Cavallari says Brody Jenner was very “vanilla” in bed. And “Page Six” claims Lydia Hearst celebrated her birthday in Murray Hill, but we’re skeptical.

The Story of Megan Fox and a Giant Banana