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A-Rod Broke Up With Kate Hudson Because She Was Too Pretty

That’s what Us Weekly says, basically. Hudson “would always want to be styled before games,” a source, who insists that “he broke up with her over a week ago,” tells the magazine, because she wanted to look good in the pictures that were inevitably taken of her. So. She was obsessed with looking hot, and that bothered him … because why? “It was a turnoff to have a girlfriend who always wanted to be on camera.” Oh. No wait, HA. That is a lie. Not just because, lest we forget, A-Rod dated Madonna, or because it just sounds like a lie, along the lines of, “She broke up with him because his penis was too big for her.” But because Kate Hudson almost unfailingly looked like crap at every Yankees game.

In fact, we hate to say this, but now that we think about it, that was one of the very reasons that we hated this relationship. Because between all of the reportedly Animal Planet sex and the drinking she was doing at Yankees games, Kate had forgotten she was supposed to be a movie star, and was almost looking kind of dumpy. Here she is in September:

And again:

Yeah, that’s a high-maintenance look right there. We understand a lady needs some time off and we applaud her decision, but we’re glad that she obviously decided enough was enough and is going back to business. If this relationship had gone on any longer, she might have gone from resembling Goldie Hawn to looking like Kurt Russell.

A-Rod Pal on Split: Kate “Always Wanted to Be on Camera” [Us]

A-Rod Broke Up With Kate Hudson Because She Was Too Pretty