today in made-up trend stories

Goldman Execs Now Supposedly All Packing Heat

They tried to explain themselves. They tried to make nice. But the public has not been listening, and now Goldman Sachs bankers are taking matters into their own hands. Literally! They’re buying guns, writes Warren Buffett biographer Alice Schroeder in Bloomberg today, in order to protect themselves from the filthy, mewling populace!

I just wrote my first reference for a gun permit,” said a friend, who told me of swearing to the good character of a Goldman Sachs Group Inc. banker who applied to the local police for a permit to buy a pistol. The banker had told this friend of mine that senior Goldman people have loaded up on firearms and are now equipped to defend themselves if there is a populist uprising against the bank.

Has it really come to this?” Schroeder then asks, rhetorically, of her own thesis, which is based on precisely nothing other than the above anecdote. We’d say: Probably not, no.

Arming Goldman With Pistols Against Public: Alice Schroeder [Bloomberg]

Goldman Execs Now Supposedly All Packing Heat