tiger catches tail

The Ballad of Jaimee Grubbs

Jaimee Grubbs knew that she was destined for something big. No — something huge. That’s why she added the extra “e” to her name. To differentiate her, to make it clear that she was special, and because the double “e” coordinated with the double “b” in Grubbs, just like Jaimee liked to match her nails to her dress and her lip gloss to her thongs. But despite some early career successes (some modeling, a stint on VH1’s Tool Academy), 24-year-old Jaimee’s Moment did not happen right away. So she labored as a cocktail waitress in Los Angeles, like a rare orchid sits in a hothouse, waiting to bloom. And then, one day, something big finally happened.

In April 2007, she met professional golfer Tiger Woods. Their connection was immediate. Fated. After dinner that first night, she would later recount, they:

went into another room to watch a movie.” But “he just grabbed me and kissed me, and we started taking our clothes off and had sex.”

That’s how intense their connection was. True to his name, Jaimee found, Tiger had voracious sexual appetites. Indeed, they were practically Byronic. Within two days of meeting, the Post would later report, they managed to have at least twenty “wild sex romps.”

Like the Lord, Tiger also had a way with words, and would send Jaimee text messages that made her swoon. Such as:

I will wear you out. When was the last time you got laid?”


Send me something very naughty. Go to the bathroom and take [a picture].”

But he also had a roving eye, Jaimee knew. The Tiger could not be contained. There were other women, to whom he wrote similarly romantic missives. Such as this one, which he allegedly wrote to one Rachel Uchitel:

I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament. I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f - - -ed by Derek [Jeter] and David [Boreanez]. Some part of me thinks you would like that. But now I can’t get back to sleep. My body is tired, but mind awake. Need an Ambien.”

Also, Tiger was married, a fact that was really driven home to Jaimee when he canceled an assignation owing to what he said was a “family issue.” Her mother, who knew about the affair, told Jaimee to turn on the television: Tiger’s wife, she saw, had had a baby.

The news caused Jaimee to introspect. “I loved how we got along,” she told Us Weekly later.

But I knew, in the back of my mind, there could never be just us. There would always be the wife, or somebody else.”

Like a baby, for instance. Still, Jaimee soldiered on. What else could she do? But beneath it all — the highlights and the tan skin and the layers of foundation — something simmered: resentment. And one day, when she got a call from Tiger, she let it go to voice mail. Later, she broke down and listened to it: "I need you to do me a huge favor," he said.

Can you please take your name off my phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.

Something about those last words, said hurriedly in Tiger Woods’s unmistakably Tiger Woodsy voice, managed to penetrate the spongelike material of Jaimee’s mind. She had a flash of realization. This was her chance to seize greatness. Like that rare orchid, she would blossom quickly! She would be Huge. Quickly. And then: Bye.

Hear Tiger Panic to Mistress: “My Wife May Be Calling You” [Us]
Voicemail deepens Tiger Woods cheating scandal [NYP]

The Ballad of Jaimee Grubbs