white men who look like gigantic babies

Citigroup’s John Havens Was Paid $9 Million in 2009

This makes Citi’s head of investment banking their highest-paid employee of the post-crisis year. But the relatively large payday didn’t come just because Havens is CEO Vikram Pandit’s BFF, who followed him when he left Morgan Stanley and with whom he helped launch the seriously ill-fated Old Lane hedge fund, and because when Vikram looks at that large baby face he just melts because there is a man who really believes in him. No. It is because, so far as we can tell, Havens was the driving force behind one of the most significant cost-cutting measures Citigroup has taken in the wake of the crisis thus far, a move that allowed the bank to save — well, they haven’t disclosed the exact amount, but certainly oodles of taxpayer money, which therefore absolves Havens of any criticisms that he is pocketing a too-big chunk of it himself. You know what we’re talking about?

Back in August, shortly before Citigroup was forced to accept $45 billion in TARP funds, Havens scripted a memo to his fellow Citi-zens outlining the ways in which they could and ought to begin saving the company money. The highly detailed memo, which was reprinted ad infinitum because it was so revealing, we believe, of Havens’s extraordinary talents and valuable skill set, read, in part:

Color presentations are unnecessary for internal purposes; therefore going forward color copying and printing should only be used for client presentations. Also whenever possible, presentations should be printed double sided to reduce unnecessary paper usage.”

That’s worth $9 million. Right, America?

Trimming Expenses, Citi Holds Back on Color Copying [DealBook/NYT]

Citigroup’s John Havens Was Paid $9 Million in 2009