stupid crime of the day

Manhattan Model Offers Cops Oral Sex in Exchange for Getting Off [Updated]

Certain members of Daily Intel HQ are all atwitter, as you can imagine, about this story: Twenty-one-year-old Manhattan fashion model Nick Snider has been accused of offering policemen a bribe of the physical sort after being arrested for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct. Snider, who has appeared in several Prada campaigns and was ranked by Forbes as the fifth-most successful male model in 2008, apparently offered to give the cops oral sex in exchange for his release. (Just so you know, it’s very hard to write this item without going all Postal with the puns.) “I am a very famous model,” he told them, according to a police report obtained by the Smoking Gun. “I’ll suck your dick and balls if you let me go.” We’ll let you judge from this picture, from his Prada eyewear campaign, whether you think he would be capable of that dual feat.

But here’s the twist of the story: It took place in Batesville, Arkansas. This isn’t Manhattan, where maybe the cops would be into that. We know top models aren’t known for their brains, but Arkansas? He should have known better, even drunk. Are male models even allowed to walk around outside in Arkansas?

Anyway, he’s out on bail for $780, which is our favorite part of the whole thing. Even the judge down there in Independence County District Court realizes that being “the world’s fifth-most successful male model” is basically akin to being “the world’s fifth-most successful male Rockette,” and anything over a grand might be too hard for him to scrape together.

Update: In a really classic example of “statements of support that actually serve to undermine,” Snider’s management just e-mailed us the following:

Good Afternoon,
The staff at VNY Model Management on a number of occasions has offered help to Nick. We are here to support him in his troubled times and will work with both Nick and his family to get him the help he deserves.

Really? On a number of occasions? This only makes us wonder how many cops actually accepted the whole D ‘n’ B offer.

Manhattan Model Offers Cops Oral Sex in Exchange for Getting Off [Updated]