Real Housewives May Have to Go On Without Bethenny and Silex

Madonna had a (not-so-secret) rendezvous in the city with A-Rod, who’s been playing the field ever since his breakup with Kate Hudson, taking two different women out for lunch and dinner in South Beach on the same day. Tiger Woods supposedly sent porn star Joslyn James 100 sexy text messages (à la John Mayer). James now insists she was “in love with Tiger,” and she “believed that he loved [her] too.” Woods, meanwhile, is rumored to be making a “shock return” to golf in Arizona’s Accenture Match Play Championship, following his stint in sex rehab. Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen may not be returning to The Real Housewives of New York City in March, as “viewers don’t have a positive reaction to them, so they’re easily replaceable at this point,” and Simon threw a hissy fit when he didn’t get paid as much as the Housewives.

Jay-Z is suing financing firm Highland Capital Management, which he says took over a million dollars from him following a failed hotel deal. Mel Gibson’s getting flack for calling a reporter an asshole on-air, but now he says he was just referring to his publicist. A Ralph Lauren publicist forgot to blind-copy recipients of a mass rejection letter to those deemed not important enough to attend their Bryant Park show, revealing e-mails of reps from Hearst, Macy’s, Reuters, and Fox News. A homeless woman found Joy Behar’s lost phone and called Behar’s boyfriend, Steve Janowitz, who retrieved it. The woman noted, “I knew it was important because Al Sharpton’s phone number was on it.” Despite his backing of Kirsten Gillibrand, Governor Paterson dined with Senate hopeful Harold Ford Jr. at Butter, joking to the hostess “not to seat them too close together in the booth.” And rather than play in the Super Bowl, Terrell Owens is judging a bikini competition in Miami with Ludacris.

Lady Gaga got the words “Little Monsters” tattooed onto her arm, and she tweeted that her latest ink is dedicated to her fans. The 19-year-old accused of robbing Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Audrina Patridge pleaded not guilty in a Los Angeles court yesterday. Kim Kardashian issued a restraining order against her stalker. Actor Alex Meraz, a member of the New Moon “wolf pack,” tweeted to Taylor Lautner that Valentine’s Day (in which Lautner stars) “looks lame and desperate.” Mariah Carey doesn’t like it when husband Nick Cannon throws his jacket on the “Marilyn Monroe piano,” but he does it anyway. Pink went to lunch wearing all pink. And the newly slim K-Fed thought that his previous “K-Fat” pictures were Photoshopped to increase his girth. But then he realized he was just that big.

Beyoncé launched her new perfume, Heat, with a commercial featuring writhing, sweat, and lots of cleavage. And speaking of steamy, Kellan Lutz is modeling boxer briefs for Calvin Klein, along with True Blood’s Mehcad Brooks, Spanish tennis star Fernando Verdasco, and a Japanese soccer player. The ad campaign is a “truly global initiative.”

Real Housewives May Have to Go On Without Bethenny and Silex