not sex diaries

The Silent But Extremely Horny Penn Student

The University of Pennsylvania has started a version of our famed Sex Diaries, which they’re calling, awesomely, Pennetration. In the first installment, a junior at the Ivy League school describes an encounter with a fellow coed that occurred after weeks of “silent but extremely eager horniness.”

An excerpt:

We were in bed and I was going down on him. Luckily for him but unluckily for my jaw, Chris is well-endowed. He had above average girth but not to the point of needing magnums. This, unfortunately, made things slightly more difficult when it came to blow jobs and honestly, my jaw was exhausted after a good 5 minutes. That’s when I was like, fuck it, I’m just going to fuck him. What followed makes me laugh to myself because he had an almost shell-shocked expression on his face the entire time I rode him. I guess his social maturity had caused me [to] forget his sexual immaturity and I expected something slightly more passionate, or at least sexier. After he cummed and I de-mounted, I slipped into sleep as I thought to myself, “Wow, I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

Emphasis ours, because we can’t imagine what will be more awkward for the school: the graphic language, or that it reveals Penn students can make it all the way to junior year without learning how to properly conjugate verbs.

Pennetration, Edition 1: The Newly Single Junior Girl [Under the Button]

The Silent But Extremely Horny Penn Student