first-world problems

Now Kenneth Feinberg Is Making It Impossible for Bankers to Get Divorced

Getting a divorce has never been easy for masters of the universe. Even if you have a decent prenup, you’re still going to have to part with a chunk of change — which is especially painful and poignant for those whose true love is ultimately money. And now that financial institutions have changed their compensation structure under government pressure, and are giving employees bonuses that are made up more of stock and less of cash, it’s become that much more difficult to ride off into the sunset with your yoga instructor with your riches intact. Bloomberg reports:

“Changes to compensation are creating a horror show when dealing with the other spouse’s budget and support package for children,” said Liebman, a partner at Klein Liebman & Gresen, LLC, which values businesses and assets.

Because the stock prices of so many companies are so volatile right now, and alimony and child-support payments are usually calculated based on past income, calculating the monthly payout to the former ball and chain has become a mathematical nightmare of epic proportions, one even the nerdiest quant don’t feel like figuring out. And so? Rather than cut their losses and move on, some professionals, like owners of McMansions, are just waiting out the bad romantic times until the bad economic times are over.

Under these circumstances, couples may be hunkering down and trying to make their marriages work because the alternative is a nightmare.”

It’ll be fun to see what Republicans will think about this. On the one hand, plus one for family values. On the other hand, God damn the government for getting so involved in everything.

Bonus Pay Changes Put ‘Massive Wrench’ in Wall Street Divorces [Bloomberg]

Now Kenneth Feinberg Is Making It Impossible for Bankers to Get Divorced