pansies are for pansies

Brooklyn Woman Targeted by Serial Plant Thief

There are some people that seem to call the same kinds of trouble into their life over and over again. Some women, for instance, just put a certain vibe into the universe, and bad boyfriends just find them. Others are scammed again and again by con artists. And Park Slope resident Pauline Blake has problem with her yard.

The Brooklyn Paper reports:

Blake said her household has been victimized by the flower fiend for years — indeed, last week, the kleptofloramaniac nabbed Blake’s sister red flowerpot — but left behind the small pine tree that once called it home. “We figured the next thing is that they’re coming for the plant,” she said. Last year, the thief made off with the [sic] Blake’s azaleas.“They just come in and help themselves to anything in front,” she said. Over the years, Blake estimated she’s lost hundreds of pots and plants — and hundreds of dollars.

As we see it, there are several solutions to this problem: Poison. A high fence with barbed wire. Or Pauline, taking a long hard look at herself and realizing that she has a problem, which is that she is acting like a suburban person with a yard when really she lives in the city and has a plot of dirt, and flowers are something to be purchased or peed on.

Lock up your daisies! There’s a flower thief on the loose! [Brooklyn Paper]

Brooklyn Woman Targeted by Serial Plant Thief