Yesterday our friend Bess Levin got ahold of Crescendo Partners founder Eric Rosenfeld’s exciting new children’s book, Mrs. Buttkiss and the Big Surprise. We sat rapt as she “read” to us over IM what happens when Mrs. Buttkiss finally releases the massive fart she has been retaining in her local supermarket. “Years and years of fart escaped with a tremendous blast. The sound was deafening. It was the loudest and longest fart ever recorded in history. The supermarket shook. Food fell onto the floor. People yelled, unsure what had happened.” And THEN.
Everyone in the store passes out, save for Mrs. Buttkiss, who is naturally immune to the smell of her own farts, and who sneaks away, embarrassed. But she need not be! Because when everyone comes to, they notice all of the fruit is a different color. Pineapples are pink. Oranges are purple. And so on. And what’s more, they taste wonderful! Everyone is delighted, especially the supermarket manager, who hires Mrs. Buttkiss to fart in his store every night and marks up the price of the farty fruit. Naturally, we were skeptical. Today, Bess got Rosenfeld on the horn:
We think there’s another lesson to be taken away here: Be wary of enterprising businessmen trying to sell you the new cool thing: It might just be farted-upon fruit.