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Okay, Ivanka Trump’s Stalker Is Scarier Than We Thought

Yesterday we wondered why the authorities had imported stalker Justin Massler all the way from Reno, Nevada, to charge him with a misdemeanor, when news reports made it sound as though he had merely sent Ivanka Trump a few irate tweets about how he hates her brand and everything she stands for. “Hey, that’s not that different from what we do here!” we said to ourselves. But Ivanka had reason to be nervous about Massler, it turns out. First of all, a Trump source tells us, he doesn’t live in Nevada — that was just where he happened to be when he was picked up. “He actually lives about three blocks away,” from her jewelry store. And Ivanka had a few good reasons for wanting to get a restraining order against him.

Such as:

• He once purchased an $800 pair of earrings from her jewelry store. “Say here you go it’s from some guy named Justin Massler who wrote you a kind of crazy seeming creepy stalkery letter along with it,” he wrote to store employees in an e-mail. Despite being self-aware, he apparently “became infuriated” when they would not deliver them to her.

• He wrote her some very freaky letters before her wedding: “Massler told Ivanka her husband was all that stood between him and happiness,” according to the Post. “Jared Kushner has stolen everything from me, leaving me with nothing. Jared Kushner has ruined my life for all time and eternity,” Massler wrote. “Thanks to Kushner, there is no sun in the sky, no stars in the wind and no moon in the trees.”

• And he  said.

Oh. Some people sure do show their love in different ways.

Okay, Ivanka Trump’s Stalker Is Scarier Than We Thought