Jessica Simpson Is Feeling Some Situations Out

Eliot Spitzer’s supposed “favorite hooker” sneaked into a Tribeca Film Festival screening of the documentary about him. Tiger Woods met with a Florida divorce lawyer. In celebration of their second anniversary, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon got married again. When asked about her love life, Jessica Simpson reported, “I have some situations that I am feeling out.” While stopped at a red light on the Upper West Side, a fellow motorcycle rider asked Jeremy Irons, “Can I have my $12.50 back forDie Hard 3?”

At the White House Correspondents Dinner, President Obama sent out a warning to the Jonas Brothers, announcing, “Sasha and Malia are huge fans but, boys, don’t be getting any ideas. I have two words for you: predator drones.” He also made a special shout-out to Jay Leno, commenting, “I’m glad the only person whose ratings fell more than mine is here tonight. Nice to see you, Jay. And I’m also glad I’m speaking first, because we’ve all seen what happens when you take his time slot.” Even though Madonna posed with a younger man for Dolce & Gabbana, she and Jesus Luz were very much together at the Tribeca Film Festival, where Luz was “gazing up at [her] adoringly.” Scientology leader David Miscavige was accused of snooping through the secret confessional files of devout celebs like Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, and Kirstie Alley.

Karl Lagerfeld spent six hours shooting a Chanel catalogue at yet-to-open Orchard Street “cantina/club/gallery” Casa Mezcal. Dr. Arnold Klein received death threats after claiming that Michael Jackson was gay. Mayor Bloomberg and George Stephanopoulos roasted James Carville at the National Center for Learning Disabilities fund-raiser. Spike Lee kvelled about Denzel Washington in Fences. Mel Gibson wanted Donald Trump to star in his next movie, but Trump declined, both because it would take up too much of his time, and because it’s being shot in Mexico, which would involve “major security concerns.”

While news of Halle Berry’s breakup with French-Canadian model Gabriel Aubry is just surfacing (and Berry’s PR firm initially denied reports), turns out they split a while ago. Amanda Seyfried and boyfriend Dominic Cooper got cozy at the Letters to Juliet premiere. Though Justin Timberlake’s been getting up close and personal on set with his ex, Cameron Diaz, he spent yesterday afternoon strolling hand-in-hand around Tribeca with Jessica Biel. Mark Sanchez took Jamie-Lynn Sigler to see David Mamet’s Race on Thursday, but he also took some blonde to Del Frisco’s earlier in the week.

Jessica Simpson Is Feeling Some Situations Out