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Bill Clinton Is Going to Try So Hard to Not Upstage Chelsea at Her Wedding

Bill Clinton is not — repeat, not — going to upstage his one and only daughter, Chelsea Clinton, at her wedding this summer. Poor kid has been upstaged enough, between him and Hillary and their massive global fame. So he’s going to try his very best to not do anything at all to call attention to himself, on this one special day, even though it will be hard, as he has told several interviewers, as he is a natural whore for attention. But he has a plan. First of all, he’s going to get so thin that you will barely even see him; he will just sort of recede into the background and you’ll be like, What’s that? A very large vase? Oh, no, it’s Bill Clinton. Only not that, because you won’t even notice him. He is just going to be the guy paying the bills and walking his daughter down the aisle, like a normal dad. And he will not cry, he said at the Fortune/Time/CNN global forum this weekend.

Because for once this is not about him!

I am going to try not to cry because this isn’t about me, it’s about her. And if I am crying then it becomes partly about me and I don’t even want to be mentioned in the story except that I didn’t stumble walking down the aisle. So I am going to try but I may not be able to do it.

It’s just, Bill has always had a hard time with those long thin carpets. It’s really tempting to do a kooky pratfall.

Global Forum [CNN/Money]
Related: Where in the World Will Chelsea Wed? And Who’s Invited? [NYM]

Bill Clinton Is Going to Try So Hard to Not Upstage Chelsea at Her Wedding