cleaning up

Long Island Genius ‘Knows’ How to ‘Fix’ the Leak

Some more bad news on the oil-leak front today. The first stage of the latest procedure, the ol’ cut and cap, has hit a snag — the saw that was cutting the riser pipe has become stuck. At the same time, one expert predicts that, in a worst-case scenario (it can get worse?), the leak could continue all the way until December. “This process is teaching us to be skeptical of deadlines,” the energy-investment researcher tells Bloomberg. Indeed, we’re beginning to prepare for the possibility that oil will be flowing into the Gulf for the rest of our living days. But wait! A headline in the Post confidently blares, “I can plug oil leak, says NY genius.”

This particular genius, 21-year-old Alia Sabur, came upon the idea while watching TV, then “had it all worked out in a just a few minutes, sketching it out on paper.” It was just that easy.

I figured experts would know more about it than I did but their ideas didn’t work,” she said. “So I started thinking about it.”

God, why are the “experts” so stupid! Anyway, here’s the idea that nobody thought of yet: inserting tires into the pipe, inflating them, and directing any remaining leaking oil into a new pipe. Duh! But wait a second. How does Sabur “know” that her plan would work? Why is she so confident about this back-of-the-napkin idea after every attempt by industry professionals has failed? Well, she isn’t. It’s just an idea. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn’t. Nobody else is quoted in the story saying anything like, “Eureka!” or even, “This might be a good idea.” Nobody else is consulted at all. By the end of the article, we get this:

Even if her idea fails to stave off further catastrophe, Sabur has an amazing history.

Damn you, Post.

I can plug oil leak, says NY genius [NYP]

Long Island Genius ‘Knows’ How to ‘Fix’ the Leak