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Lindsay Lohan Has an Explanation for That Fingernail Expletive

It’s day two of Lohan-Going-to-Jail-Gate, and we’ve now learned that Lindsay Lohan (predictably) hates the judge who sentenced her, and the defense is “working on” a new defense. Plus, it’s time to pick a side! Some columnists think Lohan is too self-pitying, others think the media is misogynist. The latest Lohan news, below.

• Lohan apparently told friends that Judge Ravel is “a fucking bitch,” hates Lindsay, and is out to get her. Some non-Lohan sources are even backing up that assertion by pointing out that it’s rare to get 90 days in jail for a probation violation. (Although, during the sentencing, Ravel pointed out that the sentence was a result of numerous incidents, including driving under the influence of alcohol and cocaine … twice.) [TMZ]

• Writer Natasha Vargas-Cooper, a recent graduate of the L.A. alcohol-education program, says it’s actually quite difficult to violate probation by missing classes the way Lohan did: “When I wanted to go on vacation, I called and said ‘I will not be in town for two weeks’ and they said, ‘k, bye!’ meaning you could go 20 straight days of no school, without calling, without doing shit and still be on the right side of the law. People who were poor, had no way of transportation other than a 2 hour bus ride, ladies with no child care, even opiate addicts were able to get to these classes. You don’t even need to be sober to go to this shit. It’s 2 hours a week, once a week. After I had four absences I was told that if I was late one more time I would go before a judge and my ass could sent back to jail. You know what was an effective deterrent for jail? Going back to jail.” [Awl]

• At the Daily News, Joanna Molloy says, “It’s so hard to cry for self-pitying Lindsay Lohan … she just kept feeling sorry for herself … In court, she blamed everyone but herself.” [NYDN]

• Meanwhile, Andrea Peyser fantasizes about kicking Lindsay in the teeth. [NYP]

• Well, looks like she’s still feeling sorry for herself, implying on her Twitter page that her sentencing is akin to the story of Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, an Iranian woman sentenced to be stoned for adultery. [Gawker]

Forbes, interestingly enough, is sort of defending Lohan: “Her real crime may be her ‘unladylike’ behavior … The media orgiastically detailed every look, word and tear the fallen starlet issued in court, just as it has obsessively covered every other mishap in this young woman’s excruciatingly public life … Meanwhile, badly behaving male celebrities collectively get a media ho-hum … The figurative public hanging of Lindsay Lohan is driven as much by economics as misogyny.” [Forbes]

• Basketball player Ron Artest has more succinctly summed up this situation, tweeting “Dam Lindsay.” [Buzzfeed]

• Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, who is oddly chummy with the intrepid TMZ reporters, said in a video, “All we want is for Lindsay to be treated like everybody else, and that hasn’t happened so far.” Does the defense have plans from here? “We’re working on it.” [TMZ]

• Lindsay herself claims that her famous fingernail, the one that was painted to say “fuck u,” was not for the judge or for viewers at trial, but rather a gag with her friends. It “had nothing to do w/court. It’s an airbrush design from a stencil xx,” she tweeted, which explains everything! [LAT]

Lindsay Lohan Has an Explanation for That Fingernail Expletive