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Lindsay Lohan Has Nearly Two Weeks to Screw Up Again Before She Heads to Jail

Lindsay Lohan’s performance yesterday during her rambling, bizarre closing remarks — in which she claimed, among other excuses, that she was in Morocco, “helping children,” when she was supposed to be in alcohol-education class — was perhaps the best one the girl has given in years. (It even included a “too-many-tears-to-continue” moment, which ended seemingly out of nowhere.) Sadly, that role she was playing was not “innocent person” so much as “delusional beauty queen.” When Judge Ravel listed off Lohan’s numerous destructive indiscretions — and then the excuses she’d made for them, which included blaming innocent people when she knew she was guilty, and claiming her cocaine-holding “favorite pants” were actually, um, somebody’s else’s pants — it seemed that Ravel might actually be putting Lohan behind bars for the girl’s own good. Not that it’s likely to stick: The L.A. County Sheriff’s Department has already hinted that she’ll be removed from other prisoners, and her 90-day sentence will probably be reduced. On that note, the latest news.

• Of the outcome’s fairness and Lohan’s repeated probation violations, the steely prosecutor Danette Meyers said: “Once, maybe, you’d have an excuse. Twice, an oversight. Three times, still haven’t caught her attention … Seven times, the court is irrelevant to her.” [NYDN]

• Because Lohan won’t be locked up until July 20, and she has until then to think about it, “[f]riends worry that Lindsay is now fully off the hinges and may not be able to resist drugs and alcohol.” Since she’s wearing a SCRAM anklet (and is also just not great at getting away with things at this point), substance use would extend her jail sentence. Ack. [TMZ]

• Judge Ravel seems to believe that the Lohan team plants its own gossip: “All I know is that every time the three of us meet privately in chambers … by the time you hit the door, TMZ knows what we spoke about and I don’t think there’s a bug back there, so I don’t know.” [TMZ]

• Because she has prescriptions, Lohan can still take Ambien, Adderall, and Dilaudid, a strong painkiller. [TMZ]

• The actress will be serving time at the Century Regional Detention Facility, once the home of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. [NYDN]

• Excellent influence Kim Kardashian has reached out to Lohan during this difficult time, tweeting: “Sending positivity your way @LindsayLohan Love you! Everyone please send LL your sweet prayers. U never know when someone really needs it.” Lohan tweeted back, “thanks for being such a good friend.” [LindsayLohan/Twitter]

• Filming of the upcoming Linda Lovelace biopic will begin when the starlet gets out from behind bars. [Vulture]

• Michael Lohan found the sentence “satisfying,” he told Larry King. [Gawker TV]

• Before heading into court yesterday, Lohan penned “fuck u” on her middle fingernail, which she continuously held in front of her mouth, pointed at Judge Ravel. [ONTD]

Lindsay Lohan Has Nearly Two Weeks to Screw Up Again Before She Heads to Jail