secretary of awesome

Hillary Clinton Mostly Rules Out 2016 Presidential Run

Hillary Clinton has this thing that she does. As we’ve painstakingly documented, Clinton has been asked many times whether she’ll run for president again, and each time she maintains that she will not. But she also always adds a little something in there that keeps her answers from being completely Shermanesque — usually, an intimation that the reason she won’t run is because she’s satisfied with being secretary of State, which isn’t even relevant, since she’s already stated her intention to serve as secretary of State for only one term.

She did the same thing today in an interview on New Zealand television. When asked by host Duncan Garner whether she has ruled out another White House run, Clinton replies, emphatically, “Yes, I do, I do.”

But when he followed up with, “Even going so far as 2016?” Hillary replied, “Oh, yes, yes. I’m very pleased to be doing what I’m doing as secretary of State.”

Since we know the secretary of State thing has nothing to do with it, what does this actually mean? Let’s run it through the Politispeak Translator 5000, an advanced supercomputer that runs on pure uranium.

Hulton Archive/Getty Images

bleep blop bloop bleep bleep

I almost definitely won’t run again, but if the conditions are perfect and I think I can win, and I still have the drive, hell yeah I’d do it. And not that America will even care that I had been saying for six years that I wouldn’t run again, but I’ll at least need some kind of flimsy explanation, so I’ll just say that I had only ruled it out before because I was so focused on being secretary of State.”

[via 3 News]

Hillary Clinton Mostly Rules Out 2016 Presidential Run