Groupon just turned down a $6 billion buyout offer from Google. Even though the company is now reporting a $2 billion run rate (half of that goes to the merchants whose coupons it hawks), Groupon is a deal-a-day newsletter, so the start-up must have something special up its sleeve if it’s so certain its winning formula can’t be duplicated. And Business Insider thinks it knows what it is: the quirky humor of its ad copy! But what alchemical combination of mixed metaphors, fake proverbs, and “hypothetical worlds,” should one employ to create advertising gold like: “The bagel, like the circle from which it takes it shape, is a metaphor for life; it literally never ends. Today’s Groupon celebrates that sacred, delicious symbol: for $3 …” Now, thanks to a leaked copy of its (possibly fake) style guide, you too can be on your way to saying “thanks, but no thanks” to $6 billion. Or, you know, just learn valuable tips like “Michigan silhouette” should only be used as a synonym for hands in the Midwest.
LEAKED: Here’s Groupon’s Secret Copywriting Guide [Business Insider]