The folks at Reddit have uncovered what appears to be WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange’s OKCupid dating profile. The Über-private Assange would never be an online dater, you say! But the last time this user accessed the profile was way back in 2006, when Julian Assange wasn’t the cable-dumping antihero he is today. Back then, he was just a danger-loving lonely boy. So, if this profile is the Real Him — and the pictures of him and the fake name “HarryHarrison” seem to suggest that it is — then what do we learn about the enigma of Julian Assange by examining the face he wanted to show the world? Or, at least, the face he showed the world he hoped to sleep with?
He is straight. Well, we could have guessed this much, already.
He is 87 percent slutty. Okay, we could have guessed that too. People never change. Anyway, he confirms it in his “self-summary”: “Want a regular, down to earth guy? Keep moving. I am not the droid you’re looking for. Passionate and often pig headed activist intellectual seeks siren for love affair.” And in the “Test” section, he came back “87% dominating, 87% slut.” But also “Strong Democrat.” On the “I’m Really Good At” section, he wrote “A gentleman never tells.” So he’s also kind of cheesy and gross.
He likes tough, dangerous girls. “I like women from countries that have sustained political turmoil,” he wrote. “Western culture seems to forge women that are valueless and inane. OK. Not only women!”
Despite the fangirls, he gets lonely: “Although I am pretty intellectually and physically pugnacious I am very protective of women and children,” he wrote. And while he said, “I have asian teengirl stalkers,” he ceded: “I could adapt to anything except the loss of female company and carbon.” (And carbon. Ha.)
But, mostly, the Julian Assange on OkCupid seems like any pretentious outcast looking for love on the Internet, if more arrogant and vaguely misogynist. It’s clear, however, that even back in ‘06, he was pretty sure that he was heading toward serious international intrigue, as he was also seeking a siren for “occasional international conspiracy.” How did he spend his time? “Changing the world through passion, inspiration and trickery,” and “directing a consuming, dangerous human rights project which is, as you might expect, male dominated.” As for the username: “Harry Harrison is a scifi writer that was popular in the ‘70s and ‘80s for his Stainless Steel Rat character,” reports a commenter at Reddit. “The SSR was an intergalactic criminal mastermind with a conscious [sic] who was too smart to get caught.” So, Julian Assange: Still not really that much like us.