As you may have noticed, the snow is back. You can see it out there now, a bunch of fluffy white flakes drifting gracefully from the sky onto the shoulders of people hurrying to work and puppies in their tiny coats and the tongues of giggling children. It looks so innocent, doesn’t it? But as we in New York City recently learned, snow around here can get real ugly real fast: One minute you’re looking at a Winter Wonderland, the next you’re immobile in a frozen hellscape. But this time, Mayor Bloomberg wants you to know, he is prepared for the five inches that are expected to accumulate. This time, he is determined to fight the White Menace head on. He will not be humiliated again! In addition to the usual snow plows and shovels, the Times reports, the mayor’s office has drawn up a shock-and-awe campaign of “salt spreaders, plows monitored by GPS and employees with cameras streaming live feeds of street conditions to City Hall,” all aimed at kicking the snow’s ass. The mayor, whose approval ratings sank to 37 percent after last week’s tsnownami, is so pissed at snow that frankly we wouldn’t be surprised to see him out there himself, personally unloading an Uzi into a snowbank with a yippee-kay-ay.
