We’re not referring to his homes, which probably have very high ceilings that are covered in gold and festooned with lute-playing cherubs. We’re talking about how much support Trump is capable of attracting if he actually gets in this race. Let’s say in some crazy alternate reality, Trump actually wins the GOP nomination. As of right now, according to Gallup, a whopping 64 percent of registered voters would under no circumstances vote for him in the general election. If that sentiment holds, and Trump receives, at best, 35 percent of the popular vote, it would lead to one of the biggest landslides in history. But Trump is unlikely to get that far anyway because even 46 percent of Republican voters say they would never vote for him.
This might seem odd, considering his lead in many polls right now, but that’s only because the field of potential candidates is so wide at the moment. Think about it this way: Ten friends (this never happens, but just go with it) are trying to decide what movie to order on TV. Four friends are dead-set on The Human Centipede because for some strange reason they enjoy gross-out films in which people are surgically connected to one another, anus-to-mouth, by a mad scientist. But everyone else is completely disgusted by the film and prefers various other options. As of right now, The Human Centipede has plurality support, but only because the rest of the group hasn’t coalesced around another movie yet.
In order to whittle down the choices, the group takes a series of votes, with the film receiving the lowest number of votes in each round getting kicked off the list. This is, broadly, what happens during primary season — candidates perform poorly, they drop out, and their supporters back someone else.
As round after round of voting passes, it’s finally down to just The Human Centipede and The Kids Are All Right. The Human Centipede still has only those four hard-core supporters, while everyone else goes for the solid and definitely-not-vomit-inducing The Kids Are All Right.
In short, Donald Trump = The Human Centipede.
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