This is what “Page Six” is really good for: Yesterday, they published an item about artist Helen Marden confronting socialite Helen Lee Schifter at tony West Village restaurant Bar Pitti. According to the gossip column, Marden “lurched” at Schifter, because of rumors of an affair between Schifter and Marden’s husband, the 72-year-old abstract artist Brice Marden. Upon seeing this, the assembled crowd of diners reportedly burst into applause. Schifter and her fashion magnate husband, Tim Schifter, denied any affair at the time, and claimed that Helen was merely Brice’s “muse.” It was a society non-scandal, so far. But then today “Page Six” had a follow-up. “We have been married 43 years,” Helen Marden told the tabloid. “I was cold and calm. I did not lurch. I was not in a rage. I slapped her.” Awesome! Backing up his wife (sort of), Brice admitted that Schifter was not his muse, and that their relationship was “not platonic.” So far, both the Schifters and the Mardens are standing together. How come this never happens when we go to Bar Pitti??